lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
