So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
