I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
