he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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