ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
