Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize