too bad you live with your parents still
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
