do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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