so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize