well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
