You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
