Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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