The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
