yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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