Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
