I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Randomize