That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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