You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
