Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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