And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
