and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
