Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize