i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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