community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
