playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
