I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize