So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
