something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
