Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
