My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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