At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
