ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
