Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
