therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize