Who wears a wallet chain?!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
