so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
