like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
