i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
