you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
