she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize