Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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