Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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