Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
