You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Need sex. Gaining weight.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Randomize
