"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
