Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
