can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it glows. i had to have it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
