If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
