pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
