Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
