quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
