I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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