Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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