don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize