If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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