It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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