i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
