We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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