my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
