Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
