how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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