And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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