Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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