i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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